numbers

Because I’m Crazy, Baby

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I’ve been listening to Lana Del Rey obsessively for the last day or so. Why is she so perfect?

I woke up and jumped on the scale about 5 times this morning.

150.6lbs

I’m getting closer closer closer closer.

My friend who I haven’t seen in such a long time and bailed on me on my fucking birthday invited me out to dinner with her and her other friends. Contemplated it. Really. How to go and avoid eating anything. It didn’t seem worth the hassle of going then. So I said no and I knew I made the right decision.

Tonight, I am so busy. Must do laundry, wrap presents and make cards for my mama and sister. Bake zucchini brownies. Pack for the weekend. Pick up my medicine. Annnnd salad for dinner.

Let’s make today even better than yesterday. And yesterday, was *almost* perfect. Slipped up in the afternoon and bought a pack of rolo’s. Not today. I have my yogurt and fruit, string cheese, and for when the late afternoon cravings come in… a banana. Can’t wait for the weather to get cold so I can have soup for every meal and drink my hunger away.

So close so close so close

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Have kept my eating under control so far. Very nice.

Homemade pizza tonight — that’s made from scratch pizza sauce + dough. YUM.

Must remember that even though it is homemade, there are still a gazillion calories. Especially with a beer? It’s really going to set me over. I should have gone running. Maybe I can do 1,000 jumping jacks without my husband noticing.

Rules!!

  • Wait for it to be totally cool. No digging in!
  • Cut every bite one at a time. Yes. You are going to cut up your pizza.
  • Chew slowly and savor every ounce of fat you are eating. Think about that.
  • Rest for at least 15 seconds.
  • Repeat.

I’m going to finish my water bottle before I leave work. That should set off some of the hunger that is already creeping into my belly.

He’s making two kinds of pizza. You can’t eat more than half. **THINK** This is not the last time you are eating pizza. It is very easy to make. You can make it again. This isn’t the end. You’ll be able to eat it again in the future. Enjoy. DO NOT BINGE.

Weigh-in tomorrow. OH DEAR.

Taking a break

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This weekend is going to be horrible, what with my party, a wedding, and a birthday dinner.

I will do my best to eat ok. But then again, I already ate 2 chocolate chip cookies for breakfast (180c).

We got home so late last night because dinner took 3 hours, I also kept waking up in the middle of the night in a panic.

Running will resume Monday, possibly Sunday.

I have to keep reminding myself results happen in months, not hours.

So today doesn’t count

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Just had ice cream and chocolate chip cookies for breakfast.

I’m thinking of Au Bon Pain for lunch. Maybe a sandwich, maybe a salad. So glad that it’s raining so I won’t want Chipotle. Maybe I’ll go all the way cray and get McDonald’s *barf*

So my weight didn’t move, from yesterday to today. I figure that’s because I go on carb overload at night. Sunday, I am going to make a bunch of dinners and freeze them – salsa chicken, cilantro lime chicken, etc. Then I won’t be so tempted at night.

Tomorrow I have a birthday party. Saturday I’m going to a wedding. Sunday I have a birthday dinner with my family. Monday is going to change my eating habits for good. FOR REAL.

That is my first goal as a 23 year old. WOO!

I was so close…

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It’s Wednesday and I’m supposed to weigh myself but I’m too afraid. Dinner last night wasn’t even that bad, I think my calories may have been reasonable. I guess, that’s what I get for not counting.

Almost didn’t want to run this morning. Then I remembered I don’t want to be fat.

My alarm rings in 3 minutes.

ew why did i do that?

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I stepped on the scale.

It’s night time. I just ate like a million Oreos. I’m wearing clothes.

154.2

It was staring up at me after only being on the scale for a second.

It’s never been that much before.

Ever.

Already changing my mind about tomorrow. Treadmill @ 4.5 for 45 minutes.

Dinner is the enemy. Need to watch my dinner. Breakfast has always been ok. Now I finally have lunch in control. Stupid dinner. The biggest problem because I get cocky about how well the day has been.

Must remember – this won’t change over night. Baby steps.